Quizmania

My father recently decided he was a dove, one of my close friends is a Jane Austen heroine, and another has been warned that he will die by being mauled by a pack of midgets.
Personally, I have enough to worry about, what with being bestowed with the gifts of invisibility, a keen fashion sense (just because no one else can see me doesn't mean I have to look like a slob), a golden aura and a distinctive peppermint flavour.
You may have recognised by now the symptoms of quizmania, a very unusual (and highly contagious) disease, contracted by everyday people who come into contact with the alluring concept of personality tests.
"We just wanted to have a bit of fun," the poor victims often protest, as the disease takes over their system, guiding them to take more and more empty and meaningless quizzes, such as 'What colour is your aura?', 'What is your warning sign?' and 'What obscure death will you have?'
They seem to enjoy using the 'knowledge' gleaned from such tests in social interactions, having a stockpile ready to drop into any lapses in conversation:"Hey, did you know that I'm chihuahua?"
...It never works for me. Perhaps some part of the illness allows others to find such comments amusing.
So be warned, all of you who have not yet been overrun by this epidemic: do not be tempted, lest you become plagued by threats to your sanity as you discover you are, in fact, a radioactive squirrel.