Uncommon Sense

Last night I was filling out one of those email quizzes, this one based on the five senses, when I realised something about myself I hadn't considered before:

People don't make me feel at ease.

The question was 'If you could see anyone/anything right now, who/what would it be?'

I couldn't think of a straight answer to the question. I kept thinking of things like 'a movie', or 'Rome' (though I'm pretty sure that just came out of word associations - places to see, travel, Rome). I couldn't think of people. I mean, sure, I like being with friends, seeing movies and things. But I always feel on edge when I'm with someone. I guess it comes from being a loner through most of my school life.

The closest answer I could think of was 'I want to see my future girlfriend' - which is funny in the one sense because then I'd hopefully know who and where said girlfriend was, and be able to ask her out with heightened confidence. But it is also because part of my image of a 'serious' girlfriend is that she'd be someone who could set me at ease just by the sight of her.

I don't know people who can do that to me.

Perhaps no-one ever does/will, and I shouldn't hold to that illusion?

But if it is an illusion, then my answer still applies - I still would want to see the girl of my dreams.