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Beyond Pandora

Beyond simple curiosity, this is Thinking Too Much. If you're interested in philosophy and/or wild theories, you've come to the right place.

Location: Australia

Paddling somewhere between a mad scientist and an organisational artist. Indecisive, inconsistent and often incoherent.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004


I've never possessed this quality.
It's so bad that I agonise forever about whether to buy a CD or not.
I want to know every possible argument for and against, weigh up the consequences, and make an informed decision.
Of course, sometimes I will be 'impulsive', ignore all that carefully-gathered information, and just do it.
And I usually regret it later.
The example I have in mind is my mobile phone. I really only wanted a basic phone. One that rings, lets me converse with other people, and can send/receive text messages. About A$99.
So when I go in to set up my mobile, the dealer shows me through the phones. I see the low-range, basic phone that I wanted, but, giddy with the rush of 'doing something', I think, 'why not get the next level up?' and don't stop and check the price - $A300
Preparation? What preparation?

I am very afraid that I'm playing this same game with my future. Think, research, look around, decide what to study, then when it comes to the crunch, I think I can do better, and so I change my mind and regret it the moment I come back down to earth.

I should be satisfied with what I always wanted to do - Writing. Media.
Of course it has it's negatives - it's not an incredibly 'practical' area, and it doesn't have good job security.
But I wouldn't regret the time I spent in the area.
Electronics Engineering is a practical area. It has great job security, because things will always break down. But I can easily imagine having a horrible time for the four or five years that it will take to finish a course.

It's a toss-up between considering myself 'useful' and trying to do what I like to do.

And while that may seem like an easy decision, I really, really hate feeling like I'm useless.


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